Bygones
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: You can't always go home again. Sometimes it's the psychological. Sometimes it's the spiritual. Sometimes the physical. In Scosglen, south of her homeland, at least one of those aspects was preventing Li-Ming from returning...


**Bygones**

"Gods it's cold."

"You surprise me."

"How?"

"Well, by your own words, you fought at Bastion's Keep. In winter. Where no doubt it was cold also."

Li-Ming didn't have an answer to that so instead focussed on gutting the fish in her hands. Yes, she had fought at Bastion's Keep and the land outside it, and yes, it had been cold. So cold that when she'd briefly entered Hell, at least that realm had been warmer. But at least in that battle she'd been physically active. Not sitting on the frozen shore of Scosglen, gutting fish.

"Y'know, I could make this go faster," the wizard murmured, gutting yet another aquatic creature and putting it in the basket. "Quick blade spell, cut these up in seconds."

"You could," Emrys said, the druid not taking his gaze off his own work. "But my people have little love for arcane magic. We do not take on the form of the bear if our strength is sufficient."

"Or take the form of the wolf if we do not need to move in haste," Li-Ming murmured, repeating another platitude. "I know."

"Good. Now keep at it."

_Fish, _the wizard thought, staring at the pile of cod that she'd caught with the druid over the course of the day. _Among the first of the nephalem, saviour of Creation, slayer of the Lord of Terror, and I'm gutting bloody _fish_._

Li-Ming glared at the fish. They just stared right back. Sighing, she went back to the task.

"You sound troubled," Emrys said.

"You think?"

"By all accounts, you shouldn't be."

"I could be lying you know," the wizard pointed out.

"You could. But those who come into contact with demons have an air about them."

Li-Ming glanced at him, the knife pointed in the druid's direction. "Is there something you wish to say, Druid?"

"Only that I believe you. Though if this work is as tedious as you believe, why do you not depart?"

Li-Ming returned the knife to her catch. Even if she'd never admit it, she didn't know. All her life she'd known she was…well, special, even if she'd learned that people didn't appreciate that claim, especially not the heroes she'd allied with. And after twenty years of that life, she'd finally fulfilled her destiny, or whatnot. Sanctuary saved. Heaven salvaged. Evil defeated. The first of the new nephalem. And…she had no idea what to do after that. The others had all found their callings – Adria, Dirgest, Kingsport, the Templar Order…all tasks her friends had taken on. All tasks she'd turned down in the hope of finding something better.

_And here I am. In Scosglen. Among tree huggers. Gutting fish._

Li-Ming sighed, getting to her feet. She rubbed her back, stretching in the evening air.

"Your work isn't done."

She flicked her fingers. Fire appeared in them.

"And I told you to not use such magic here so casually."

"Yeah, well, it's cold," the wizard snapped, waving the blade. "And I'm tired of cutting bloody fish. I'm tired of-"

She yelled in pain as roots shot up from the ground, cutting her hand. Steel and blood dropped into the snow, some of the blood her own.

"And I'm tired of hearing you whine," Emrys said. He got to his own feet. "If you want something different, go find it. If you want to stay with my family until that time comes, you're welcome to. But that welcome only extends as far as your own courtesy."

"Oh like you can talk!" the wizard yelled, sucking the wound and wishing she had one of her friends to help treat it, a skill she'd never really bothered with. "You…you think you can stand here and lecture me! _Me!_ A nephalem! A hero!"

"Any person who must declare that they're a hero is no true hero," the druid said.

Li-Ming just stood there. A chill went up her spine, and not just due to the icy air. Smarting, she glanced at the druid's family further down the shore. His elder sons, also bringing in the catch. His only daughter, playing with their hound. His wife, bathing his infant son in the icy water, the little brat screaming like a gutted pig. Her hand still smarting, the wizard turned away.

"How long has it been?" Emrys asked.

Li-Ming didn't answer.

"How long?"

"Five years."

"Well, after enduring what you have for twenty-five, you may want to take my advice and try to stay put before moving on."

Li-Ming spat. "Don't lecture me old man. You didn't see the things I did!"

"Actually, I did. Only at Arreat admittedly. But-"

"Arreat?!" Li-Ming exclaimed. "You mean…you…them…"

"Them, as in the heroes who fought against the Prime Evils nearly three decades ago? Yes. I was among them. I bore the scars. I endured the nightmares. And only returning to my land, after finding love and family, did I endure."

Li-Ming stared. The druid could have been lying. But…she believed him. His beard, his age, that look in his eyes…and Leah had once mentioned that a druid had aided her uncle at Arreat. She'd just never assumed it could be the one before her.

"So, what shall it be?" Emrys asked. "Make a life? Travel? Return home?"

"I can't return home."

"Nonsense." He cast his arm out over the sea. "Xiansai's to the north. Within a few days' travel."

"No, I can't return home!" Li-Ming snapped. "They're even more intolerant of magic than you are!"

Emrys raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes," she sneered. "Gifted, they called me. A prodigy, they said. But when I use my magic, use it to alleviate a drought in the Heron River Valley?" She took a few steps to the sure, waving her knife to the north. "Outcast. Witch. Sent to the Yshari Sanctum to learn discipline."

"Magic should not be used to alter the natural order of the world," Emrys murmured.

"Tell that to people who are dying from thirst. Tell that to people whose lives are ruined." She snorted. "Y'know, people in Xiansai often braid their hair? Pony-tails. So the Great Families can always grab them if they flee."

"You wear your hair in such a manner too," Emrys pointed out.

Li-Ming bit her lip. That was true. She'd never really considered it. Then again, she hadn't considered anything about her home for so long. Even Shen hadn't stirred that many memories. But now, so close…

"I hate this," she whispered. "I hate everything."

"You don't mean that."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Hatred, terror, destruction. You've saved us from destruction. You endured terror." Emrys rested a hand on the Xiansian's shoulder. "I've seen much over my life, Li-Ming. Some of it wonderful. Some of it terrible."

"Your point?"

"That you shouldn't sully your life with hatred. Not when you are free from those who may deserve it."

Li-Ming turned away. Hatred…there were some still in this world who deserved her hatred, she reflected. Adria. Imperius. Every demon and monster who still brought pain and misery to Man. But as she stared north, as she recalled her past life, against those who'd cast her out…she couldn't hate them. Too much time had passed for that.

"You are free here," Emrys said. "If you choose it."

Silently, Li-Ming sat down. Silently, she placed her fingers in her hair. Silently, she undid the knot that held the tail in place. Silently, she let her hair flow free.

And silently, she returned to the task at hand.


End file.
